God is love. Love is God. Valentine’s Day is a hallmark made holiday (lol), but I really do see it as a reminder and representation of love. No matter if you’re single, dating, engaged, or married — the Truth remains the same. You are so so loved by the Creator of this world. It sounds cliché, and something a lot of Christians do say. But when you actually sit and meditate on that Truth, you start to dwell in His love, and want to pass that love to others. Matthew 22:35-40 teaches us that the greatest commandment is to love the Lord our God, with all our heart, soul and mind. It then continues to teach us that we are to love our neighbors as ourselves. Love more. Love that one person you have little patience with. Love that co worker who can be a little irritating. Love that family member who gossips about you. Love more than you know how to. Look to Jesus and take in that Love that He pours out onto you – and pass it on. We can never ever ever comprehend His vast love for us.
Now onto the blog….
Oh, how faithful our God is. 2 years ago, on Valentine’s day, I wrote a blog post about my single season. At this time, I had been single for a year, and wanted to share what I was learning through that sweet, sweet season. I remember this blog had more views than any other one I have written. I’ll be honest, looking back at it and reflecting on it, I do see things that I don’t necessarily think I’d write again, but that is the beauty of growth.
With the encouragement of my best friend Karlee, and the Spirit of God, I have decided to rewrite that post – but in a new season. A new season of being with the man that I have prayed for, and who God has totally blessed me with. A new season where growth occurred [and still is], a new season of love, and a new season of seeing God work in such a different way.
I was in my single season for 3 years, and each day was needed. There were times where I loved that season. It was a season where I had no one to focus on but the Lord and myself. It was such an intimate time with God because He was literally [and still is] molding me into the woman He has called me to be. Not only that, but He was preparing that man He had for me. However, there were also times in that season where I was very discouraged. Relationships all around me, friends getting engaged and married, and people continuing to ask me if I was seeing anyone or why I didn’t have a boyfriend. I told myself after my last relationship, that the next person I am with, will be someone I could see a future with. Because I wanted to be sure the person I was giving my time, attention and love to was someone I felt God had His hand upon.
Through that single season, and what I want to encourage you with – is to sit and dwell in that season. Take that time to really pray for your future husband/wife. Really get to know and love God, because that is when you really get to know and love yourself. Figure out what you like, your passions, and run after them. Think and reflect on what God is doing in your life and how you can continue to glorify and live for Him. Take advantage of life’s experiences, travel, and find who you really are. Independently. With Christ. I think the most beautiful thing, single or not, is the fact we have the opportunity to sit in the presence of God and enjoy Him. I’ve been there, friend, where it seems so discouraging. But I just want to remind you that when we wait on God, He is faithful and will fulfill His promises. Sit with Him, cry out to God and express both your gratitude and worries. He is listening.
I’ve been praying over my future husband for years. I still pray for my future husband daily, as things are just coming together with Schylur. However, I see so many answered prayers in the face and actions of Schylur. The last break up was worth it. The heartache was worth it. The tears and anger were worth it. The 3 years were worth it. The nights I spent crying out to God were worth it. And honestly, it wasn’t worth it just because I have Schylur. It was worth it because I wouldn’t be who I am, and definitely not where I am with God, if it hadn’t been for the relationship, the heartache, and the single season I went through.
Whatever season you are in right now, single or in a relationship, please be encouraged. Because in both seasons, God is working. God is wanting to mold you into the man or woman that He has called you to be. The single season is such a gift. Find out who you are, who you are in Christ, and the purpose Christ has for you. If you are in a relationship, I hope and pray you are sticking to your worth. Keep your focus on Jesus Christ first, and let the rest fall into place with your significant other. Our attention shouldn’t come off Jesus when we meet someone. Rather, our attention should be fully on Christ so that the relationship we are in is being written by the Author of Life.
Schylur and I haven’t been together for awhile, and I honestly think that’s what makes it 10x more beautiful. It didn’t take long. It didn’t take long for me to see and hear from the Lord that this is the man God has been preparing for me. Again, things are just falling into place, and I will trust and praise God no matter what happens. However, the pieces of the puzzle are coming together. When I say to you that he is an answer to MANY specific prayers, I really mean it. If you read my prayer journal about the man God had for me, and met Schylur, there is absolutely no denying it. God has been so loud and clear in this aspect of my life. He will be in yours too, if you let Him, and if you listen. We won’t hear God if things are louder around us.
It was hard starting a new relationship after so long, to be honest. The trust issues and insecurities still arose from my previous relationship. I am learning to balance a life of my own, and life with Schylur. I am adjusting from being single to in a relationship, while trying to guard my heart. One thing this sweet change has taught me is to guard your heart, but don’t lock it. Because you really may miss out on one of your biggest blessings. It’s an adjustment, it’s a journey.. but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Also, the prayers were answered to specifically with his family. I could on and on about them, but don’t forget to pray over your future husbands/wife’s family. Because boy is that important too. To the King family — (yes, we have the same last name. no, we’re not related) know that you were prayed for, and you are an answer to such an important prayer. I couldn’t thank you guys enough. Love you!
In my last blog post I wrote, “Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t appreciate you, support you, love you, care for you, honor you, and lead you. You were meant to love and to be loved”. This is something I will continue to repeat and encourage you with. Because you are so deserving of this. This is how God intended two people to be joined together – like He is with the Church. Don’t settle. It is better to be single, than to settle for what you’re worth. It is worth the wait. I would have waited many more years if it meant waiting on God [Lamentations 3:25]. He just decided to bless me after three years with Schy. ❤
Through it all, God has remained. His love has remained constant. He has given me grace and mercy as I have fallen short, doubted, and even questioned Him. But when we are obedient to Christ, He is faithful. When we let go of our control and wants, He takes the wheel and starts to put things together in ways He sees best. And for this, we are to praise God.
I will repeat what I said in my blog post two years ago, as I stick true to these words.
February 14th, 2019: I wrote,
“So to my singles — seek His face like never before. Crave that love and attention from God. Know that His timing is perfect & He knows what He is doing. Let His Will be done. You might get some “no’s”, or “not yet”, but His Will > our will. Find yourself and allow His words to shape you. I can promise that what God has in store for you is the best thing for you”
& To my friends in a relationship — know what you deserve. You deserve to be loved and to feel loved. Don’t settle, don’t lower your standards. Don’t lose yourself trying to find and keep your significant other. You deserve someone who leads you spiritually”.
No matter what, God is working. There is purpose in whatever season you are in right now. Claim His promises, and walk in the trust of the Holy Spirit. God uses detail and He is going to use your single season, and He is going to use your relationship. Keep Christ first. Stay obedient. It is totally worth it.
Father, thank You. For each season, each relationship, each lesson. Thank You for Your Will being done, in Your timing. Let us continue to trust You and stay obedient to You. We will praise you in all circumstances, because You are GOOD. And Schy, I love you. Because He first loved us.
With all the love,
It is never about Jesus if it’s always about us.
I pray that The Lord may speak to you through me, I can only hope I can help you in your relationship with Christ.