anxiety is a journey

i wish i could tell you that i have an answer to your anxiety. i wish i could tell you that you will never have anxiety ever again if you did this “one thing”. i wish i could tell you i have the cure for anxiety.

i don’t.

there is a difference between anxiety and somebody being a worrywart. everyone is a worrywart, not everyone has anxiety. anxiety brings sweating hands, hearts racing so fast, short of breath, tears, no control, and feeling like you are on your death bed.. literally.

my first panic attack was horrible – and i kept having them. i kept having them to the point my mom thought something medically was wrong with me. she took me to get tests done (bless ur heart if you ever have to get an upper GI), i went to children’s hospital, i had to do a sleep study, i had doctors appointments.. it wasn’t just “worrying”, it was physical pain. long story short – i got sent to therapy and they diagnosed me with anxiety at the age of 8. continued therapy for about two years, and went on anxiety medicine, again, at the age of 8.

i’m sitting here now, almost 12 years later, and i can’t say anxiety doesn’t make its way into my life. what i will say to you is this:

God is a more powerful medicine than the anxiety medicine i was on for 12 years. Hence the word, “WAS”. By the power and grace of God, i am almost completely off my anxiety medicine. if you didn’t hear the power in that sentence, i will repeat. AFTER 12 YEARS OF STRUGGLING WITH ANXIETY, PANIC ATTACKS, THERAPY, AND TESTS. I AM SO CLOSE ON BEING COMPLETELY OFF MY ANXIETY MEDICINE. Giving ALL the praise to the Father above. it is only by His strength and comfort that this was doable.

when i had my episodes, i started to realize some things as i grew older. in the middle of a panic attack, sit and breathe. in your nose, out your mouth, slowly. pray  – pray that Gods peace will overwhelm you. remind yourself of His promises. wanna hear something that really makes me want to depart anxiety out? it is not from the Lord. if it ain’t from the Lord, i don’t want it. and anxiety is not. it is from satan, trying to separate us from the power and love that Jesus has for us (spiritual warfare). and the last thing i need is something from satan. so SEE YA ANXIETY, and SEE YA SATAN.

now don’t misunderstand me here – anxiety is a disorder. it is a disorder that ruins people lives. but it is disorder that is FROM Satan, but ALLOWED by God. God allows it because He sees something good from it, He sees the strength His child has, and He will do anything to get your attention. it’s called a humbling experience. sometimes God allows us to feel that anxiety or that panic attack to WAKE US UP. wake us up to notice that there is God who is a healer, who is powerful, who is able to give you rest and assurance. a God who has comfort and hope waiting for you.

don’t let people walk all over you or belittle you because of your anxiety. i was in a relationship where my significant other was not supportivie my anxiety. he made comments for me to get over it, it isn’t a disorder, i have control over it, and that it isn’t that big of a deal. nothing felt worse than feeling less than because of my anxiety. nothing felt worse than someone i cared about – didn’t even see my anxiety has anything. i want you to know, don’t allow people to make you feel less than because of this. don’t allow people to walk all over because of anxiety. you are worth so much and your anxiety doesn’t define you. you are human, you are allowed to feel certain emotions, and you are not meant to be perfect.

anxiety

i couldn’t even stay the night at my grandmas house. anxiety controlled my life. it dictated what i did and didn’t do. sooner or later, i had to realize that anxiety has no control over me, i am allowing it to. we have to remember we have control over our reactions. when we feel the anxiety coming, we have to do something about it. go for a run, read a book, read scripture, say a prayer, hit a baseball, workout — whatever you feel like is an escape for you. don’t allow the feelings from satan control your life. God has already won – which means He has already beat anxiety.

a common misunderstanding is this: people who have a faith cannot get help. WRONG. you can have both Jesus and therapy. you can have both Jesus and medicine. you can have all Jesus, medicine, and therapy. but as long as you have Him in the mix – there IS healing. and i am a walking testimony on that one, friend. get yourself help, find a church who provides pastoral counseling, find mentors to pray for you – you CAN and WILL beat this stupid anxiety.

i probably haven’t had my last panic attack. i am sure anxiety will creep it’s way in – i am still human and i was still diagnosed with a disorder. i am not belittling or disowning that. but i will always have one answer to my anxiety, and that is my relationship with Christ. i now have the hope and faith in Him – that is so firm – that even during a panic attack, i choose Him. i choose to meditate on scripture, stay in contact with Him, remind myself of the love He has for me. and then all of the sudden – my faith moves mountains and it moves my anxiety – and kicks it in satan’s face.

here are a couple bible verses that i will always repeat to myself during anxiety attacks- and i hope it encourages you, too.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you”. 1 Peter 5:7

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble”. Matthew 6:33-34

“When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought me joy”. Psalm 94:19

I am praying for each person reading this – and for each person who struggles with anxiety. i feel you. i’ve been there. but i can assure you – this anxiety will not and does not define you.

let go, let God. remember His promises and His love for you. repeat the hope we have in Him to yourself. allow Him to take what you’re feeling and turn into something new.

xo,

B.

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Brayclyn View All →

Hi sunshine!!
I stared this blog in about January of 2016 to share His Word in a creative way. I was praying one night, and it kind of just came onto my heart.

I pray that The Lord may speak to you through me, I can only hope I can help you in your relationship with Christ.

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