raw, real, relationships

I’ve  had this post written for a couple days now, but I didn’t want to publish it until I got the OKAY from the Lord. Which I did, and here it is.

The main point of this blog is to tell you what you deserve. Deserve in a man, woman, and relationship.

Valentines day is coming up. Ya know, that hallmark making up holiday? Single girls always get so sad around this “holiday”, but it is really just another day. Another day for us singles. & really just another day for those in a relationship. It’s just a day where appreciation is shown a little bit more?? Not really sure the point of it, BUT I felt like this was a good time to post this probably long{er} post.

I’ve been through it all, friend. Name it, and I’ve experienced. Am i an expert? absolutely not and please don’t think i am. i am a young girl still trying to figure this all out. but with what i’ve learned, i want to share. because one of you just may need to hear it < 3 this is real and this is raw. so prepare.

This time last year, I was in a whole different season of my life. I was across the country, enjoying the presence of someone i loved, and taking in every second. Spiritually talking, i was in a different world. My eyes weren’t set on Jesus like they are now. I wasn’t loyal with my time with Him. My significant other had all my attention rather than Jesus. I basically had God on the back burner and my boyfriend in the front (HUGE MISTAKE). Emotionally talking, i was a mess. I didn’t know why or what i was doing, I didn’t want to accept the change, and i was allowing someone to break me emotionally and mentally. In the moment, of course, i was a ball of tears, confusion, hurt, and loneliness. now i am free, joyous, still, and just, ah, content.

my biggest relationship advice is this: you cannot give someone your best if you’re not at your best. you can’t love someone if you don’t love yourself. you can’t give someone your all if you can’t even give yourself your all. i sacrificed a lot for my prior relationship. do i regret it? nah. would i change it? nah. did i learn from it? absolutely.

don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t appreciate you, support you, love you, care for you, honor you, and lead you. you were meant to love and to be loved. i swear every time i do my Jesus time, love comes up somehow. and the reason is because love is all it takes. but what behind love is what matters. if you are changing yourself, giving up your life and what you want, if you are unhappy, or sacrificing your all for someone, stop. it is not healthy for you, for them, or for the relationship. you are going to drive yourself up a wall and MORE. i understand what relationships take to be healthy and balanced. I understand compromises need to be made, but it needs to be done mutually, both sides.

i think i’m ready. ready for that next relationship. the next person to love, cherish, make memories with, spend my time with. does God think i am? i don’t think so. i think He is taking this time to shape and mold me into the best woman for that man. i think He is growing me still so i can give that special person my all. and i am taking in the minutes, literally. i am using this time to solely focus on God and keep my eyes on Him. to only crave attention from Him. this past year i have; i have grown tremendously. but i don’t think Gods done with me quite yet. and girlfriend, if you are still single, He’s not done with you yet either. He is growing you and shaping you, too. God makes the BEST love stories, i promise. AND it is totally something worth waiting for < 3

you have to heal what you’ve been through. not just learn and grow but heal. give yourself time, cry it out, scream it out. pray it out and leave it at the Cross. not healing from it prevents you from moving forward. lack of healing will prevent you form accepting the love that God wants you to have.

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I think it is AMAZING to read my journal entries from last year to this year. I think it is AMAZING to see the picture transformation, the smiles are bigger, more  genuine, and just real. But i wouldn’t be where I’m at if I didn’t go through what i did. I’m not at all saying what i went through was the most horrible thing. it was a great relationship in the beginning. but time changes people, things change, and you just have to accept it (something i struggled with). but towards the end, it did get unhealthy, for both him and i. it was time to notice it and do something about it. hurt like heck, but so forever grateful. that is something i will never stop thanking God for. and i want you to notice. notice that things change and you can’t change a person. notice that what you’re going through isn’t healthy. cheating, lying, abuse (any type) isn’t healthy. blaming eachother rather than accepting the blame, tearing eachother down, negativity. whatever it may be, notice it, learn from it, grow from it, move on. i’m not saying it will be easy, but it will be worth when God unfolds His plan and His love story for you.

so to my singles — seek His face like never before. crave that love and attention from God. know that His timing is perfect & He knows what He is doing. let’s enjoy this time. find yourself, allow His words to shape you. i can promise that what God has in store for you is the best thing for you. we may THINK we know whats best. we may THINK this man/woman is who we’re supposed to be with. we may THINK we’re ready for the next step. but God? nope, He doesn’t think. He knows. And He will make sure to let you know too, when the time is right. Isaiah 60:22. One day, when the time is right, you will realize all of the waiting makes sense, and you will be so glad you waited on the Lord. “it’s better to be single than to be with someone who is only on the same page as your romantically but not spiritually. be brave enough to let you love story go deeper in a way that is centered on Christ. it IS worth the wait”. also- i encourage you very much to start praying for your future husband. wanna know a secret? i have a prayer journal specifically for him. i {try} and write a prayer every night for him in it. you don’t have to do that, just a recommendation.

& to my friends in a relationship — know what you deserve. you deserve to be loved and to feel loved. don’t settle, don’t lower your standards. don’t lose yourself trying to find and keep your significant other. you deserve someone who lead you spiritually! someone who will encourage and uplift you. i know relationships will have their pitfalls and it won’t always be sunshine and butterflies. but when “stuff” is happening, is when true love shows. also – treat your significant other with this love. compromise with them, support, lead, and grow them, too. it needs to be a both side deal or else it won’t make it very far. it takes two! pray, as well. for your relationship and for you guys individually. that God will continue to grow you guys independently so you are able to have a strong and firm relationship together.

this was a lot – i’m sorry. i was probably all over the place. there is so much i want to say. i am passionate about this because i’ve been through it. i know what it feels like to get crapped on after you did everything you did. i know what it feels like to be in the single season. i am in this with you, people. i am just over here trying to figure it all out too.

xo,

B. ❤

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It is never about Jesus if it’s always about us.

I pray that The Lord may speak to you through me, I can only hope I can help you in your relationship with Christ.

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